Are you a real German?
Das hab ich irgendwo gefunden und fands so lustig, da hab ichs einfach mal kopiert=)
You know you´re German
1. You separate your trash into more than five different bins.
3. You carry a “4You” backpack.
4. You eat a cold dinner at 6pm.
5. You call your cell phone “handy” and a projector “beamer”.
6. You have no problems with nude beaches and saunas.
8. You have gotten splinters from environmentally friendly toilet paper.
9. You call an afternoon stroll “Nordic Walking”.
10. You are shocked when you have to pay for dental care.
12. People start talking about Hitler and Hofbräuhaus when you tell them where you’re from.
14. You work 40 hour weeks and have 6 weeks of vacation a year, but complain about hard times.
15. Your childhood diet consisted of Alete and Zwieback.
16. Your college diet consisted of Miracoli and Döner.
17. You were educated about sex by Dr. Sommer.
18. You yell at people for jaywalking. (that’s crossing the pelican crossing on red for us Europeans!)
19. You grew up watching “Löwenzahn” and “Die Sendung mit der Maus”. And Baywatch - I’ve been looking for freedom!
20. You think college tuition is an outrage.
22. On your last day of high school you made your teachers sing Karaoke and jump through hoops.
24. Your first audio tape was Benjamin Blümchen and Bibi Blocksberg.
25. You have ended an English sentence with “…, or?”.
30. You expect chocolate in your shoes on December 6th.
31. You complain that in other countries everything is dirty.
32. We are used to men getting drunk every Ascsenion Day (Himmelfahrt or rather “Männertag”)
34. You spent hours in school learning to pronounce “th”.
36. if you go to school in a gymnasium.
38. you spend the summer at the “Baggersee”.
39. if you say PorschE, not Porsh!
40b. you always eat Nutella-Brote and can’t get enough of it!
41. you always have a pack of TEMPOS on you.
42. you watch “Der 90.Geburstag - Dinner for One” and “Sylvesterpunsch” on New Year’s Eve and can still laugh about it.
43. you burst into tears of happiness when you find that the Lidl markets in the UK sell Fleischsalat, not forgetting Salami, German yoghurts, German bread mix and so on!
49. there is no such thing as BBQ only grillen
50. there is only one Rudi Voeller
53. you know what Das Sandmännchen is.
54. You understand the following:
-I understand only railwaystation
-Heaven, arse and thread!
-Us runs the water in the mouth together.
-Human being Meier!
-My dear Mister singing-club!
-Now we sit quite beautiful in the ink…
56. you have been tortured with “Kabale und Liebe” during your Abitur.
58b. you learned all about traffic safety through songs by Rolf Zuckowski
61. everybody calls you “zee german” and thinks that you LOVE sauerkraut and sausages… then you are german (wtf)
62. you think you have less public holidays than other countries when in fact you have more!
64. you just don’t get baseball and think it’s boring
66. you speak English but the German way…even when it sounds strange e.g. ‘everything in order by you?’
67. you only drink Sprudel Wasser and you add it to every other liquid you drink and call it Schorle!
68. you like to eat your french fries with mayonaise and are revolted by the thought of vinegar on them.
69. you keep going on about the ear worm that you currently have and people look at you like you have some tropical disease.
71. you confuse your “if” and “when”….
75. you say: “hier sieht’s aus wie bei Hempels unterm Sofa”
76. the concept of small talk still puzzles you
80. you reuse the plastic bags from the supermarket for your rubbish
81. being on time means 15 minutes earlier to you
87. you complain about people that just sit in their car with the engine running
89. you can’t stand the sloppy white British/ American bread - the one where you try to spread your Nutella and it falls apart!
92. you smash plates (yes the Greeks do it too) and saw logs a wedding
93. nuts & raisins are something that only German students are meant to eat (Studentenfutter)
95. you still differentiate between West Germans and East Germans (Wessis & Ossis) after xx years of reunification
99. you always complain about Dutch caravans on German “Autobahnen”
101. you go to the pictures, the cinema/ theater is empty but you still look where your assigned seat is - even if it’s the left-most seat in the front row
102. you are queuing for bread rolls at 6am in the morning whilst on holiday …
104. you know at least 15 different ways to cook potatoes
105. you are really upset when the Deutsche Bahn is yet again 5 minutes late (that’s late? If only it were only 5 minutes in the UK!)
110. you wish every person around you “Mahlzeit” at mealtimes.
111. you have a sense of guilt/ shame when you say that you are proud to be German - you shouldn’t have!
112. you don’t cross your fingers but “press your thumbs”
114. you know the Knigge way of how to eat “correctly” with your knife and fork
115. when in Chile, you freak out when you find Lakritz and Ritter Sport in the local pharmacy
116. the sentence “you can say you to me” makes perfect sense to you.
117. you have a blue eye instead of a black eye.
119. … if you grew up playing “Mensch Ärgere Dich Nicht”
122. you clap when your plane lands.
128. if it’s your birthday and YOU are paying for the drinks!
130. you have 2 sets of tyres for your car, one for the summer and one for winter.
133. you know that Anton is from Tirol
134. you miss your Weihnachtspyramide, Schwippbogen, Herrnhuter Stern etc.
139. you get a Zuckertüte on your first day of school
140. you wait for the pedestrian light to turn green before you cross the road
144. you mix Coke and Fanta and call it “Spezi”.
145. you instinctively associate the expression “Wahnsinn!” with a song by Wolfgang Petry…and respond with “Hölle Hölle Hölle…”!